This is the third and final installment of 3 part course on understanding NLP. The Meta-Model.
Meta-Model
In this article I will be discussing the meta-model and 3 of my favourite NLP techniques, these techniques are the most practical self-help techniques as well.
Whenever someone talks about an experience, their verbal description will delete a great deal of that experience. That’s why words are useful for taking a very complex and detailed experience and briefly summarizing it. What you get is at best a brief outline of the total experience. Whenever you gather information, you draw on your own personal history in making an internal representation of what the other person says in order to:
a) understand it,
b) know what you need to gather more information about to complete your internal representation. As you do that, there is a very strong tendency to delete or distort information, and add in details that were not mentioned by that other person, and are not even in that person’s internal representation.
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The meta model is a set of questions that allow you to gather information that specifies someone’s experience, in order to get a fuller representation of that experience. It is one of the essential tools that separates a good NLP Practitioner from a sloppy one. You can use all of the NLP techniques elegantly, but if you haven’t pinpointed exactly where and when to use them, you can come up with a wonderful solution for the wrong thing. If you don’t know how to gather information, you’re like a surgeon who has a very sharp scalpel, but doesn’t know where to cut.
Know the Questions to Ask
When clients, business partners, employees, students, etc. communicate with you, or offer you a difficulty to solve, knowing what questions to ask makes all the difference. Many people don’t know what questions to ask, and they end up solving the wrong “problems.” They think they understand, and begin to solve something they don’t know about. Often they do more harm than good.
Generalization, deletion, and distortion are what Bandler and Grinder describe as "the three universals of human modeling." Building on the idea that our experience of the world is, in fact, the experience of our model of the world, they propose these universals of human modeling as responsible for the difference between the world and our models of the world. In addition, Bandler and Grinder illustrate how these three distinctions are reflected in the patterns of everyday language. Due to generalization, deletion and distortion our language is an impoverished representation of our model of the world.
Generalizations Examples
“She never listens to me”
Questions to ask: Never? What happen if she did?
“She is so smart!”
Questions to ask: She is so smart at what? She is smarter than who? How do you know she is smart?
Deletions Examples
A simple deletion is one with missing or insufficient information:
“I have been travelling”
Questions to ask: Where have you been travelling? When did you travel? How did you travel? Were you alone or with another or others?
“You are so good”
Questions to ask: At what? How do you know I am so good?
Distortions Examples
“You don’t like me”
Questions to ask: How do you know I don’t like you?
“ It’s bad to be inconsistent”
Questions to ask: Who says it’s bad? According to whom? How do you know it’s bad?
Exercise
Determine if this statement is a Generalization, Deletion or Distortion and which questions yo would use.
“You make me sad”
Determine if this statement is a Generalization, Deletion or Distortion and which questions yo would use.
“He rejected me”
Determine if this statement is a Generalization, Deletion or Distortion and which questions yo would use.
“I have to care for her”
NLP Techniques
The Swish
The Swish Pattern is a useful NLP technique to help people address any unwanted behaviour response to a specific stimulus by changing key sub modalities.
The Visual Squash
The visual squash is a powerful NLP Anchoring pattern that can “re-wire” your brain. Yes, I know it sounds like something that happens after a late night. It is a way of integrating “parts” or aspects of a person that are in conflict. ... The visual squash is an early NLP Technique.
The Fast Phobia Cure
The fast phobia cure is probably the best known NLP technique. The NLP Fast Phobia technique aims to overcome phobias of all types. The Fast Phobia Cure is effective treatment for most phobias such as fear of public speaking, sexual performance anxiety, fear of driving, social anxiety, fear of spiders and so on. The NLP phobia cure is fast and simple.
References:
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